For three years now, Pirate fans have broken down every tiny aspect of Pedro Alvarez's game. What's his strikeout rate? What does that mean? Is he struggling with fastballs? Breaking balls? Is the "Daydro" thing actually a thing or a weird sampling problem? Why would he hit better during day games? Does he need contacts or something? Did you see how far he hit that ball? No, seriously, did you? Is he a good third baseman that's a little big. or is he just a bad fielder? Holy crap, did you see that throw? Can anyone become a good hitter if he strikes out 15 times in 25 plate appearances? No, seriously, I'm just asking because I don't know, but it seems pretty bad to strike out that much, doesn't it?
We've slowly gotten answers to most of these questions, and more are coming in 2013. There is one question that's always vexed us, though. What do the tops of Pedro Alvarez's ears look like? He's always got them tucked into that cap, and that's weird. Ladies and gentlemen, last night in Sarasota, with our seats directly in front of where the Pirates were stretching and right behind third base, the crack WHYGAVS investigation crew made a stunning discovery:
Is that … wait a second … could it really be?
PEDRO ALVAREZ HAS SET HIS EARS FREE!
A new list of questions abound. Is this because the spring training hats aren't quite big enough to tuck the ears in? Will his ears go back into hiding the first time he goes into a slump? Who knows?
Pedro: we're happy you're a Pirate. Your ears are perfectly normal. Keep them free and in the wind. Don't worry what we think about your ears. Hit home runs.
Suddenly, I've got a good feeling about 2013. I know that doesn't make sense. Just roll with it.